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However she did demand to see a doctor to,and I quote, 'find out what the fucking fuck's wrong with me.' I canexclusively reveal to you that the doctor has pronounced Mel fit andhealthy and not pregnant. So, good news there, though maybe Jack'll bedisappointed with that. Who knows?"Melanie's brother, Roger has given his reaction to these events. Hesays, 'Can't you tell? It's a wind-up. Mel has always been a practicaljoker. Good on you, sis. I think it's hilarious.' Mel's mother, ah, MrsDavenport, seems disgusted with her language. 'She's behavingabominably,' she says. 'We didn't bring up our daughter to swear like atrooper on national television.' Oh dear! I think Melanie'll be getting abit of a bollocking from the old Mater when she gets out, oops, pardon myFrench. And finally, Mel's boyfriend, Geoffrey, says, 'tell her I loveher and that Wee Willie Winkie wants to pay her a visit the moment shegets out.' Hmm. Well, we're not allowed to pass messages in to thehousemates and, with. Stano is incapable of speaking without vulgarity. But I guess you?re getting used to that by now. Two weeks ago his favorite word was ?hormone,? which actually came as a relief after living through months of sound effects.?I forced myself to give him a weary smile. ?Uh, Stano, I know you mean well, but some of us would appreciate it if you tone things down a little, okay????sorry.??I don?t think girls really appreciate that quite the way guys do,? I said, philosophically. ?Well, except for my sister, of course.?Stano perked up again. ?Is she looking for a boyfriend???Only for ten minutes at a time, Stano.??That works for me!?I tried not to wince as I felt another cramp coming on. ?Why *do* you put up with him???Cause Stano is the mano. He can peel a computer like nobody?s business. In fact -?Esker interrupted, ?Maybe we?d better let Doug spring the plan on her.?My eyes narrowed. ?What plan???Well, Doug was afraid that he?d offended you. And your scene with Danielle of the.
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